When Jesus nabbed me in that Bible study (it was like being hit by a spiritual truck), my life changed.  Suddenly all the conversations I had people about faith over the years made sense, and I started sucking down the Bible as fast as I could take it in.  In that season of my life, Evangelicalism was a great help to me.  It was through the Evangelical coalition that I learned what it mean to critique something you loved (Steve Taylor taught me that), that faith was more than just getting to heaven but was about changing the world (Oh the Tony Campolo), and that being connected to a faith that was larger than my own personal one was important (Mr. Dietz, if you read blogs, I hope you catch this - just don't lock me out of the room as an example of excommunication again, ok? [OK, I guess that last one is Anabaptist - but Chris Hall did the same thing at Eastern]).

Evangelicalism helped me learn to follow Jesus.  For that, I'll always be grateful.  Like everything else, however, Evangelicalism is changing - and I'm worried about the track it's own.  Look, it's no secret that a good portion of Evangelicals have always been politically conservative (at least, Evangelical Leaders are that way) - but even back in the 90's room was made for people who were politically ambivilent or even liberal among the ranks of Evangelicals.  So you'd have Tony Campolo speak at Creation, followed the Next night by Josh McDowell. No worries, no one doubted that Tony thought people need to know the Lord Jesus Christ and that he was bold in asserting his faith so they made room for his "odd" political stances.  Looking back now I wonder if the decision to permenantly "un-Invite" Tony from Creation marked a significant change.  Tony had been attacked before, but had always come out on the other end still firmly "Evangelical" (though, let's be honest, Tony sometimes speaks first and thinks second - but when he's wrong he's really humble [I know because as a freshmen I actually challenged him on something on time and he looked at me and said, "You know, I was wrong, I'm sorry."]).  His expulsion from Creation, however, seemed to be different.  There was almost the sense that Tony was longer "one of us."  And it's gotten worse from there.  For the last two presidents, Evangelicalism has become incresingly polarized with an "us or them" mind-set.  The ground that used to existed for disagreement and dialog (and that kept the coalition together) was never really all that big - but from the 90's to the present  it's been eaten up like unprotected open space.

First, the term "anti-Christian" has been increasingly linked to "anti-American" (as if these two descriptions were on equal footing).  This syncretism confuses the idea of a Chosen people with the political entity we call the United States of Americal.  Biblically, that's unjustifyable. 

Second, the Evangelical pipe-line (just read your email forwards from Christian friends, you'll understand the image) started focusing more and more on opposing the "liberals" and mantaining the truth of our Christian culture (through the use of urban-legends) - rather than on what we could do help people meet Jesus.  It seemed to me that we stopped talking about bringing people to Jesus, and more about mantaining a situation where we could be "safe."

Third, George W. Bush got elected president (and, yes, I do think he was elected both times).  I don't know what happened after his election, but it seemed that conversations in the Evangelical world about Theology and Mission fell to the back-burner (I still meet Evanglicals who have no idea what the emerging church is or why it matters), and conversations about political action committies, voting blocks, and political power came into the foreground.  What's troubling is that, despite all these energetic efforts to play political power into social change that is beneficial for Conservative Christianity - it seems that Christianity is losing its credibility entirely, and getting absolutely nothing done.

Through it all, I still called myself an Evangelical.  I'm Trinitarian.  I believe in the Incarnation.  I believe that the risen Lord Jesus Christ will come to just the living and the dead and that his followers will dwell in a Heavenly Kingdom in a world without end.  I believe in the imperative of evangelism, and that Jesus is the only path to the Father.  So despite the misgivings I had about my fellow Evangelicals (and, to be honest, their misgivings with me as well), I couldn't imagine another place in the larger Christian tradition where I'd fit in so I could pursue the call of the Gospel on my heart among believers.

That was then.

This is now.

I can't do it anymore.  In the past week the straw has literally broken the camel's back.  First George Barna publishes a study on the distinctives of "born again" and "evangelical" believers that omits the Trinity,  the Incarnation, and the bodily resurrection of the Saints (which means, to me, that it's possible to be "Evangelical" without being "Christian"), and then I read tonight about a push to oust the vice president of the National Association of Evangelicals because he (and I am not making this up), speaks out against Global Warming because of his theology of stewardship.  So to be an Evangelical I now feel that the classic doctrines of the faith are no longer important as long as I vote right, think the right things about disruptive science, and stump to keep our political power intact.

Frankly, to be an Evangelical^TM today I feel like I need to stop being a Christian.  I won't do that.  I've followed Jesus for amost exactly half my life, he's not done me any wrong that I should dump his calling on my life to follow a different gospel.  The Evangelical coalition is falling apart, and Evanglicalism is dead.  At least, it certainly is for me.  Welcome to my post-evangelical journey.

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